everybody can be a good villain, err, mas apt sigurong sabihin na bawat tao ay kontrabida sa buhay ng iba. that’s correct, kaya nga nagkaroon ng saying na ‘keep your friends close, but your enemies closer!’ in case you happen to stumble on a person similar, reminiscent or downright Orochimaru to the bones.

Sino si Orochimaru? well, for beginners, sya ang main antagonist sa Naruto. Bakit sya naging antagonist? dahil dinukot nya si Sasuke, na kaibigan ni Naruto. Bakit nya dinukot si Sasuke? dahil gusto nyang mapossess ang katawan nito, he’s actually using the dark arts to do that. And like any dark magicians, they somehow get the bishounens work for them. Syempre may mga evil ways sya para gawin yun, and no matter how bestial or monstrous his (probably, her?) figure seems, he has the men kneeling down to serve him.

well, i think not! tulad nga ng sabi ko, its not just sheer liking to a person that will make them want to be with someone (at least) there should be something else: for Kimimaru that was sympathy: else a good stroke on the ego (although its Kimimaru’s loyalty is almost-devotion, or should i say its already there?), for Kabuto i dunno, but its surely not the L-word and lastly, Sasuke is after making himself more powerful, through Orochimaru. It was blatant for Kimimaru and Sasuke that Orochimaru is only after their bodies (ewk) and they would be able to give him the “perfect vessel” for his immortal soul!

and Orochimaru does exist! as a shapeshifter constantly on a hunt for a new vessel to live in he comes in all sizes: maliit, mataba, matangkad, maitim, wtevr and appears anywhere: in the neighborhood, in the school and in the office! And he’s constantly tapping on people’s desire in order for him to get ahold of a bishounen’s prized possessions! (yaoi pun comes here..) hehe.

and just a disclaimer, im far from being an Orochimaru.

women in love are such scary creatures, and that was proven when i accompanied my friend to “stalk” an online buddy which proves to be a rather “fictitious character” in reality!

dapat talaga it would be a group bonding, if it wasn’t for Ude na na-confine after having Anaphylactic Shock due to a kiss from a kissing bug. After passing by PGH with a half-box of happy-haus donuts (the chapeast confectionery donut of its kind) Aisa (the one who gave us Japan Lanyards) and I went to Greenwich and rode a nearly 2-hour journey to SM Fairview and after asking Manong Guard how to get to Merry Homes (which is far from being merry, its actually gloomy if you ask me) we hopped on a Jeepney Almar-bound and took a trike from there.

And as i’ve mentioned, Merry Homes is nearly-malabon like, the same unsafe feeling lurks and maybe half of that feeling eminates from Aisa, who’s more than eager to make a fool out of people helping her to search for that guy (who, upon investigation, is not really worth the fuss!). I cringe at the sight of her, asking rather desperately and acting her part on the story she fabricated (as she was supposedly the “ate” of a person who’s disturbed by the alleged guy).

Phew, if it wasn’t for Ate Aileen and a few irritating comments from me, Aisa would have stayed in Merry Homes a bit longer, and that might be a little too late because Merry Homes is…Merry Homes. We ended going home at past 8 and arriving home at 10. What was rather amusing was that the person sitting infront of me in the FX was actually intent of taking me home.

and im not going to tell you about that.

Curse and Blessing. Two words unlikely to come along but on rare ocassions when heaven conspires with earth to bring the most suprising suprises life can offer…ang oa, actually sabihin na nating there’s always a brighter side to gloomy things!

Nung nakipag shiftrade ako ke Mark, medyo nairita ako sa kanya dahil parang one day pumasok ako at pinag-uusapan na nila yung shiftrade na ako pala ang involved! And although super alok ng treat sya nun at nag-sosorry rin xa, still that wasn’t enough para ma-assure ako na okay ang shift, lalo na ang umuwi ng alas-12 ng umaga sa Malabon!

nevertheless natuloy parin ako sa cinderella-shift and lucky me, i needed to relocate my station since all the stations in the PW3 area were occupied. Conviniently, inaya ako ni Mami Jhoy na tumabi sa station nya dahil bakante pa at wala pa akong ka-hotdesk! Although malayo nga sa previous station ko at wiz ko kakilala ang seatmates ko, okay parin naman, but the suprise im talking about is yet to come…

9pm strikes and the MTBP guys entered the floor. And Mami Jhoy has a hotdesk partner and it was no less than the title holder of our office pageant, Marc! hehe, eyecandy! at dahil mgkatabi kmi eh inevitable na mag-usap kami! Although hindi ako sociable na tao, nakipag-usap ako and so far, im good with where we are. Although may isang taong mejo hindi komportable sa ming dalawa…

sino paba kundi si Mark ko! hehe, one time nagkasabay silang nag-lunch ni Mami Jhoy at nabanggit ni mami na naiinis sya ke mark dahil sa kanya ako nakipagshiftrade (gusto rin ni mami na makipag swap sked sakin). Sabi nman ni mark eh kusa ko daw kinuha yung sked para matuto ako ng Credit Card Validation. Surprised si Mark nang sinabi ni mami na kaya ko kinuha yung sked for the second week is because of my uber-nice seatmate!

selos ang mokong! nawawalan na kasi sya ng “admirers”, actually nagselos din sya dahil si Jeff eh merong “Kris” na nilalandi at ako naman eh dun sa taong tumalo sa kanya sa office pageant! hehe! pero after that, nagkausap na kami ni Mark, balik na sa dating gawi ng biruan (although sinasabi ko paring “mahal kta mark” magrereply na xa ng “mark name ko, hindi marc!”) and actually, Marc is really not that hard to like, he’s mabait, fashionable and chill! Maraming bagay kang matututunan sa kanya and unlike Mark, i feel comfortable with Marc kahit na me “starstruck” factor whenever im talking to him!

in short, what i actually mistook as a curse (ending up in a difficult sked because of mark) was actually a blessing where i can find a relief to my near-obsession to Mark.

eto yung mga sari-saring post na nakuha ko kay Mamon, share ko lang! kahit na hindi na nagpaalam! hehe, enjoy!

1. Kapag me nagtext sayo nito, eto ang meaning!

• wla lang- miss you or love kita
• ok ka lang?!- ano ka hilo?!
• hay naku!- means Seryoso ako
• ingat ka lage- i care for you
• musta ka na?- sinong love mo (this is epal question.. promise)
• secret..-means Ikaw, oo ikaw!
• anong problema mo- nasasaktan na ako sa’yo ah
• kayo pdin ba?- sana pde na tau..
• saan ka punta?- sama ako..

2. Kung bakit kawawa ang babae ngayon…

1. nice men are ugly
2. handsome men are not nice (tama! babaero pa!)
3. handsome and nice men are gay (di nman lahat. hehe)
4. handsome, nice, and hetero men are married (uu!)
5. men who aren’t xoo handsome and with money think girls are only after their money.
6. handsome men without money are after the girl’s money (sugamama ah!)
7. handsome men, who aren’t xoo nice, and somewhat hetero, don’t think the girl is beautiful enough..

3. At ang mga bagong salawikain to live by.

“Laging nasa huli ang.. Pinakamatangkad”

“kapag mai usok.. kawawa ang mai hika”

“when the cat is away.. sabihin mo wisss wiss wiss para lumapit”

“pag mai tiyaga, Good Luck!’

“aanhin pa ang damo, kung ang garden mo ay Sementado.”

I just found this post on the net, most probably the blogger also copied this from someone else but good thing that i was able to get hold of this one. Very inspiring and it makes me swallow all my pride and rethink the decisions i have made.

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered…
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money…
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked…
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,” I said humbly.

“Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?”

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here…

always.”

i know you know it but you deny! Napaka-blatant ng sintomas ng “Gwapo Complex” sa mga lalaking a) gwapo by genetics b) gwapo by appeal c) gwapo by popularity. Although generally ang tingin ng mga tao ay gwapo ay gwapo lang, there is a totally different meaning or definition to them and how they actually display their “Gwapo Complex”. But first of all define muna natin ang 3 klase ng gwapo (as per my experience)

1. Gwapo by Genetics: Sila yung perfectly endowed with blessed genes and to make a perfect person add to that an established and reputable family name. Gwapo sila from the time they were born until the day they die.

2. Gwapo by Appeal: eto yung mga lalaking counterpart ng sexbomb-di kagandahan pero anlakas ng appeal, particularly, Sex Appeal. Sila yung mga lalaking so-so ang itsura (merong downright pangit talaga) pero isang tingin palang ulam na, at kadalasan sila ay binabansagang HIPON, tapon ulo, kain katawan.

3. Gwapo by Popularity/Affinity: Eto yung mga lalaking nasa “right place at the right time”, Mayaman, Influential at may kontrol ang mga lalaking nasa ganitong kategorya ng gwapo. Hindi sila kagwapuhan pero pwede silang magpagwapo through Vicki Belo o Manny Calayan (kahit penile engorgement pa!) hindi sila masyadong ma-appeal pero ma-appeal ang gamit nilang Hugo Boss perfume at LaCoste shoes.

so with all that preface, lets get down to the definition of the Gwapo Complex. Ito yung calculated, expected at formula-based na programming ng mga utak ng mga gwapo (any of the ones listed above) and althought there are exceptions (which is not that rare) this comnplex generally applies to all:\

• The “distant” personality = kelangan ikaw mag-initiate ng conversation.

• The “close” personality = presko.

• The “boss” personality = feeling nya susunod lahat ng tao sa kanya (dahil gwapo xa)

• The “attention deficit” personality = kelangan daw nandun xa sa bawat event o xa ang center of attention palagi.

ayan. per experience yan. Although merong combinations and variations ang gwapo complex still maka-categorize mo sila jan sa 4 Gwapo Personalities and just for a quick reference eto ang common combination.

Gwapo by Genetics: “Distant” Personality / “Boss” Personality
Gwapo by Appeal: “Close” Personality / “Attention Deficit” Personality
Gwapo by Popularity: “Boss” Personality  / “Attention Deficit” Personality

makes sense diba.

naiirita na talaga ako! im uber frustrated! bakit ba sila ganyan?! Bakit ba may lahing sinungaling abnormal ang mga lalaking minamahal ko?! hindi ko na alam ang gagawin sa mga bagay-bagay na nangyayari saken ngayon…

syempre san pa ba pupunta itong diskusyon na ito kundi sa gusto kong panget; mark ulit…boring na! puro xa na lang ang bino-blog ko (kaya ba bumaba ang hits ng page ko?) Lately uber dami ng sablay ko kaya lalong nadadagdagan ang mga “what ifs” ko sa buhay…ewan ko kung sablay nga ba dahil sa fault ko o dahil sa ginusto na rin ng tadhanang ganun ang mangyari.

lately, ito ang mga bagay na gumugulo sa madilim kong isipan at bumabagabag sa maitim kong puso:

1. Bakit kelangang maging “insecure” xa?! Bakit ko ito nasabi? wala lang. Actually dahil yon sa binabalita sakin ni Jeff (ang aking kaibigan/karibal) last Friday nung nag-inuman sila..kelangan ba na xa palagi ang object of affection? bakit ganun? nagselos tuloy ako dahil nakayakap si Jeff sa kanya…and that’s because he asked for it, basically.

2. Bakit kelangang maging “selfish” xa?! Nanaman..parang mali ang nagamit kong terminology for this one…anyway, to think na nakipag-shift trade ako sa kanya dahil kelangan nyang pumasok sa night classes nya at nagawa nyang lumiban sa klase para makipag-inuman at hindi man lang ako imbitahan kahit tinext nya ako that night/that moment/that time (although sinabihan na rin naman ako ni Jeff at ng aking Sup Marj) nakaka “left-out” yun no.

3. Bakit ba masyado xang “snobby” saken! Ah, alam ko na kung bakit sya ganito sa akin (as of the moment) dahil snobby rin ako sa kanya! heheh.

4. Bakit ba napaka “sensitive” nya saken?! ewan ko ba, nung nagbibibihis sya sa CR eh kaya naman nyang bihisan sarili nya no, bakit pa ako magpe-presinta?! Ehdi tinignan ko na lang ang kanyang half-naked na katawan at ano ang naramdaman nya? Pagkailang! malamang! pero bakit nung kasama nya si Jeff eh nagawa nyang mag-boxers nalang?! selos ulit.

5. Bakit iban ang “treatment” nya saken!? isa sya sa mga taong kilala kong tumatakbo at nang-iiwan kapag nangangailangan ka. siguro ganun sya saken, at sakin lang sya ganun. Sa iba nanaman ay “napaka understanding at reliable ni mark”. ows?

6. Bakit ba maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya?! Ako mismo hindi ko alam! DESPITE ALL THOSE BAD THINGS HE DID TO ME/ THOSE THINGS I HATE ABOUT HIM NABABALIW PARIN AKO SA KANYA?! (buti nalang at napaka-galing kong magpanggap! talent ko ata yun!) grrr…tska bakit sila ganun, yung mga tao sa paligid namin..Although hindi naman ganun ka-kalat na gusto mahal ko sya  pero kapag humingi ako ng  advice sa  kaibigan katrabaho ko eh sabi nila “kalimutan mo na sya! maghanap ka ng iba” pero pagdating kay Jeff eto advice nila “KONTI NALANG!” hmmm, malamang kailangan kong mag-concede nalang.

no way! ngayon pang hindi kami nagpapansinan (to the point na inalok ni mark ng chips si Mami Jhoy na katabi ko lang at ako ay di man lang bigyan ni isang CRUMB ng chichirya..haaay, napakasakit.) at ayoko rin syang pansisin pero kung alam nya lang…

eto mas masakit…ALAM NGA PALA NYA.

Last thursday (was it even thursday?) we went to our ex-alma mater to accomplish one of the daring things to do in public..wear drag while actually looking like a cross between a gothic lolita doll and a trying hard okama in the making and have a photoshoot.

we had different sorts of problem to deal with. in order of occurence:

1. No high socks (sold out by the FEU students in Morayta)

2. Surging costs of Veet (Php200? last time i saw it it was P180!)

3. Ineffectivity of Veet in my pubic hair-like growth in my shanks.

4. Fort Santiago guards seeking permit (we’re students, at least Ude is!!!)

5. Belgians lost in Intramuros (and since my uber-friendliness to gaijins took control, we ended up accompanying them to the main road…with pics for remembrance, hehe.)

6. Closed restaurants to dine (so we ended up with McDonalds. I was about to treat my friends with CheeseBurger but Dina demanded the Kung-fu Panda toys exclusively available with The Happy Meal

Anyways, it took the efforts of heaven and earth (add to that the magic of Photoshop) and come the wonderful outcome for the day. Actually, Ritta’s camera-phone pics were surely promising and Ude gave the expected photos. Since it was my blow-out, the price tag was quite heavy for me but it was all worth it! We went home at around nine and it was sure a long day filled with all sorts of emotions and thankfully we finished the day keeping our sanities intact.

                                          

wtf, thanks to mark im now assigned to take the 3pm to 12am slot and with that im forced to learn how to validate credit cards (gawd, i hate making decisions!) but most of us are learning how to anyway. After almost a week in that schedule, i’ve managed to adjust already but not entirely, and my AHT shows that!

now i think that mark is guilty of giving me his schedule.He had afterclasses in the evening for his photography stuff and tried to reassure me that the sked is not that bad (umm, maybe) and offered to treat me in exchange, which i didn’t even pay attention to…he called me in my phone (of course using the office’s avaya) but what did i do? i hang up! hehe, it feels so nice to feel persuaded. but of course every bad deed deserve some karma! heheeee!

come monday, i was having my lunch at 7pm and i was eating alone in the cafeteria when suddenly he popped up from nowhere (he’s supposedly out by 6pm..did he…wait for my break?!), approached me with all his teeth displayed in the fluorescent light that i nonchalantly ignored.

“Wag ka ngang magalit sakin..”

“Baket, di ba ko pwedeng magalit?”

and he stood there, frozen as i was eating my lumpiang shanghai dipped in UFC Ketchup. he stood there, i wasn’t looking to him but i know that he was waiting for me to retort like i always did but that didn’t happen. after about 12 seconds (which felt like eternity, was actually equivalent to three spoonfuls of rice and a gulp of water) i heard him sigh and turned around and took the long way out of the cafeteria. I felt victorious.

But that was fleeting. I actually ended up loading my celphone to text him. “No worries mark. I’ve promised you that” (that was a promise i gave him on the bus going home from island cove. That’s actually for loving him [yes,LOVING] in my silent ways without affecting our non-romantic, friendly relation) but that message yielded no reply! huh?! is it his turn to do the snobbing?! my, he just challenged the snob-of-the-year awardee.

and that was his fault for not replying. since that message was sent to his number, never again did i send another one and just after 2 days he’s back on forwarding jokes and quotes (an invitation to talk?!) but even if im am fully loaded with Everybody text 20, mark never recived a reply.

Hell, i want to change this story for the better! Even if i stand no chance against my rivals (3 girls and 2 gays..and that’s just in our office!) i want to be a more better person towards him. not the type that you can ignore because “you know he’ll always at your disposal” or “you know he’ll do every stupid thing for you”. Im not that good in stroking somebody’s ego (maybe “stroking” other things, but not at the moment) but at least i want him to know that somebody like me can change also for the better…in the name of love!

and i guess the bad part is, he knows it already that im deeply stuck in to him! fuck, i really hate the Love when when applied in the same sentence with my name.