aaarrrggghhh…work is so frustrating! Im really having a hard time coping and adjusting myself to this environment. I really feel like im not living up to anyone’s expectations (duh! i don’t really like pleasing others…) and add to that the following reasons:

- im the only one left that has no call center experience (well, the other one was taken for midsummer and went to training for another account)

- the one who’s supposedly ‘helping’ us isn’t really helpful; she’s just concerned with ‘certain’ individuals (and even gives ’scratch papers’ to the ‘certain’ ones…nanitten dayo?!) and only helps if that’s ‘convenient’ to her. She’s really getting not only into my nerves but to others as well (can’t she tell that other nestees aren’t asking for her help anymore? they’d rather ask others for advice!)

- im the lowest in everything! well not really everything but most…urrrgghh, its really frustrating for me. Im the lowest in QA and highest in AHT…arrgh…attendance is my only saving grace (imagine that..attendace being my strength?! just when did that happen?!)

- add to that the feeling that i have to live up to my salary.

- and the irritation that Mark’s been giving me. I won’t talk to him anymore (effective this week…only.)

Gosh, i really don’t want to fail in my first job and im really exerting effort, but somehow it doesn’t show. Lord help me get through this slump! I really like this job (pay + perks + accessibility + convenience + camaraderie). It’s hard to find a job like this, and i don’t want to fail. I want to believe in myself but then again, the records show other way around.

- btw, add to that, my brother used to work for this company and he’s like one of the SME’s (Subject matter Expert) and a Product Trainor even…do i have to add to that that it’s blue chip he’s used to train for?! gosh, talk about major insecurity and inferiority complex going on in me…